The Problem Is Too Many Solutions — More Funny Brand Names

Nov 152010

Nobody sells products or services any more–everything has been elevated to the status of a “solution.”

Tech companies started the craze.You can choose your solution from HP, Cisco, IBM, and on and on in a mind-numbingly boring variety. Google the phrase “technology solution” and you will get more than 95 million results.

Unfortunately, this naming trend has spread to every corner of commerce. A friend of mine sent me this example:
Snoring Solutions

So a good elbow in the ribs isn’t good enough? We need Snoring Solutions?

The word “solutions” implies a “problem”–and that isn’t the best way to market a product. Moreover, the word “solutions” has become a boring cliche, devoid of any powerful meaning. For something so important as your brand name, meaningless words should be banished.

Here are a few more funny and misguided “solutions” names:
Pig Solutions–everything you need for your swine operation
Music Solutions–can’t you just sell guitars
Church Music Solutions–it’s about replacing organs
Kids Party Solutions–not just clowns, you know
Shoe Solutions–No Nonsense has moved beyond selling pantyhose
Professional Bat Management Solutions–Good they are not amateurs, but I want the bats gone, not managed

I’d be happy share any additional examples of funny solution names you care to add.

More naming resources:

Naming How-To:

Naming Mistakes
Six Factors for a Memorable and Motivating Name
History of Best Known Brands
Styles and Types of Brands
Choosing a Name
Try a Recycled Name
Web 2.0 Naming Considerations
Merger Naming Options
What is Brand Architecture
Approaches to Brand Architecture
Brand Architecture and Business Strategy

Companies and Products:

MSNBC vs. and The Bigger Naming Problem
Macy’s Blunder with Marshall Field’s Name Change
Banks and the Name Game from Bank Marketing Magazine
AIG Name Change to AIU
Breaking Up the Motorola Brand
Google’s Speedbook Disaster
Renaming a Small Business
Proxios CEO Talks About Renaming Process
Naming a Green Sportswear Company
Unintentionally Funny Names-BARF
Unintentionally Funny Names-Putzmeister
Renaming a $2 Billion IPG Agency
Renaming Iraqi Freedom
Selected Naming Portfolio

Additional Naming Materials:

Merriam’s Guide to Naming available at
Naming in general

More articles on naming–click here

© 2014 Lisa Merriam